Mourning The Living

I’ve been on antibiotics I’m allergic to allof them so it didn’t go well even with allergic meds for my teeth infections n now i need more for a uti and i cant i cant its too much but it could spread through my body if it doesn’t work it’s all still spreading and if it comes to it I’ll choose to die instead of the hectic trials of keeping me alive with such more in the point it already hurts soo bad all the time from the jhd, I’m scared to lose my family and. Everything i have comforted here but i cry anyways for who I’m missing before I’m even passed away.. I know it won’t be missing them this bad In Heaven it’s just so reality lately, it’s so panic to live like your dying it’s so hard so just living as regular as possible well for me and. Trying to have more time with ones I usually don’t give so much to lately