Birthdays

the 22nd i’ll be 26.. usually sick on my birthdays all i usually try to plan out is to not be in so much pain on it.. it’s good i’ve lived longer so long so far that i made it another year, even through everything, when most people would be planning big parties, or meeting friends, or going to a movie, or hanging out with their kids.. i just want to not hurt too much. i’m not saying this for pity, i’m saying it for understanding of not only me but those in the same situations

Life

You get stuck unable to go backwards where it was better so you only miss it, going forwards unable to change what you wish you could, unable to do whatever the hell the disease takes from you living with pain all the time, and forward only usually comes with more progression symptoms pain loss grieving.. and when you’re in the present it seems like where you’re sitting isn’t the best of places to be. Just Stay. It’s all you can really do, just try and stay.