waking up

woke up went to the bathroom fall on the floor muscle seizure throw in lung stomach chest spasms then out of muscle seizure into just the shitty breathing trying to even itself out and then full out reg seizure that lasts over 20 min i was on the floor for over 40 minutes if this isn’t hell idk what is karli and daddy and sabrael arent here i’m going through this and still know i have more to look forward to plus abandonment of people who used to legit care and decided i wasnt worth it now im in bed hurting soo bad mentally and physically something i can’t wrap my head around i’ve been trying for over a year and it hurts even when i try to ignore it, how can you be so important and then not matter at all, how can you believe in all this stuff for them to shatter you anyways i don’t know how to try to figure it out myself anymore. I wish they cared about me as much as i love them. I don’t even know how to have friends anymore.

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