thinking nightmare

jhd seems to take away abilities and give them back but at one point when they get to the point of staying and progressing and not going away.. i used to get weak soo bad and then better but then i stopped getting better from it, i used to have full memory thinking, now very short term memory cant remember so much its sad and cant think as much so bad it hurts.. it took away my ability to think any higher then what it wants and it physically hurts trying to go past the limits, something people probably don’t want to admit when they’re dying from this.. i grew up to 25 but never truly grew to 25 mentally always stayed more diagnosis age, now i’m going lower and lower, it’s sort of like benjamin button but without the ability to be so much higher then all of this like he was.. i dont know how long i’ll be able to process this much and well, i guess we’ll see when i go from writing paragraphs to abc blocks and yes it is very sad i never truly expected to go down from me to even more child to child range of thinking and now.. will i still be me, will i be more me, will i be less me, will i still be the same to people it seems i’m able to think better through writing on here then regularly even layering blankets or anything could are making me physically ill from trying to process them so i put on the simpsons i just simplify i have to i’d prefer cartoons and toys anyways i dont think i’ve ever grown out of it because never have i truly been ’25’ or out of my teens and less it seems