too many pieces to mend

being stuck in your own body and you can scream as loud as you fucki* want and noone can hear you!!!!! obviously your not able to talk to obviously you need to be able toooo, when you have the flu and the jhd comes in making it worse with muscle spasms and seizures and jerking or when you do everything to avoid a uti and you get them chronicly anyways or you get a cold and then an extra infection on that and then the jhd symptoms, the jhd stomach aches have been feeling like fire and severe pain so i take meds to put me to sleep but the movement disorder still wakes me up

yesterday this started cant keep food down, choked on cinnamon roll and after that i keep choking everything back up even jello, hoping it stops soon without any aspirations i couldnt even keep pudding down, damn spasms and then it gets caught and its a concern it could go into my lungs i need out of this so bad yet i know i could die any day from this disease anyway ugh

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