Curious 

I know it’s God’s will.. It’s just odd being 26 excited about a stroller instead of a car, living the what seems like dream home watching movies music no job.. They can’t see how bad it is to get like this I can’t even walk to the bathroom without seizing on the floor so I love this stroller that’s just one reason, i wanna fight with my family argue about being late, tattoo, picking me up when i fall on the floor instead of dreaming about it, learning about being a Mom instead of relying on mine to care for me 24/7 because i have to… There’s the scary parts how do I live like this I mean half my familys died people leave because they can i cant, im overdue past 10 years when will God decide to take me and why when i get so okay and comfortable accepting it does it still scare me and sadden me and why the heck no matter what do I feel like im lost and screaming noone hearing fully seeing thank you God and Jesus for keeping me alive when I can’t even handle this I fully rely on yous with almost everything I’m so broken from falling and shattering mentally and physically yous are there to pck me up and make miracles happen I love yous very much and whatever this ride is you have me on i pray it leads to our home no matter how scary and sad im very blessed and lost in this world 

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