Riding a roller coaster for a long time it goes up and then downn then up and downn worse and worse you lose who you love you lose your abilities your pain levels highten and you don’t even know when you’re gong to actually die. Unpredictable but so downhill. God and Jesus are always there for you in life and death. It’s still so incredibly hard. The doctors and medicine the equipment and symptoms new and worse bad news. When you’re wheeled into a store after this its like the shock is so hard you cant see anything that changes anything. It just keeps going.