why can it hurt so

it feels sorta claustrophobic doesnt it im not saying im not blessed i am extremely blessed, right from the start its like can do this and this cant do this and then this starts and that and it gets worse while other things start muscle attack things that are like seizures except they jerk and twist for hours and you feel all of it and then the normal kind of seizures getting worse glad im unconcious but the after effects still suck, so weak so tired so frusterated so blessed love the lord sooo much i know when they decide then it’ll be my time but for now most the stuff that’d require extreme care is ordinary and it hurts so bad i dont want it to be normal and getting worse, put me in the hospital give me meds to help it at least give me the right doctors i’m already dying but c’mon isn’t there limits