Veil Of Reality

I don’t know how I got here. The realm of reality seems so real yet so unreal, like a veil you have to pull for it to be fully real, except you can’t pull it, life does. I’ve always promised myself when I was younger, I would die before my little sister, I would die before my father, I would die if i ever got the temper of my father or started hurting people. I obviously never kept any of those promises, but I never expected for God and Jesus to actually pull the veil and save me. When I was told Karli was sick it didn’t hit me until I walked out of the room and in front of her, and I started crying and Karli asked why I was crying, my mom said it’s because i’m afraid to get shot.. Karli started crying too. Even at her school concerts i’d cry and couldn’t help it, but i didn’t know that reality still hadn’t hit, until the nurse came in my room. She said to come say goodbye, no it’s not possible it can’t be, saying goodbye isn’t in my reality. Life was never as real and as painful as it was when I went into her room and seen her lips were blue mom and erica snuggled up to her and she took her last breath. She was free. It hurt worse then I thought ever possible, just hold her bunny and curl up on the couch and cry until you run out of tears, and cry even after that. We gave Daddy her pink rabbit and he held it as tight as he could, and then he died 2 months later. I think it’s because of his grief of losing her. There was so much life, we were going to go to California for the cure Karli believed it. Then the life was gone just like that empty. When I heard someone from a group in Orange County, California had said that they want to have a child and it’s fine because the child wouldn’t get sick until it was older and then by then they’d have a cure.